Friday, 14 October 2016 09:15

Crazy Little Thing Called Love!

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Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
William Shakespeare

A while ago, I reconnected with an old friend on Facebook. We were house-mates in my younger days but lost touch some years ago. This particular friend has the dubious honour of introducing me to one of his friends, who turned out to be my ‘first love’. And, oh how I loved him! He was straight out of a romance novel, tall, dark and handsome in that brooding sort of way that dreams are made of. Well, it was sort of out of a romance novel, except for the not so happy ending! He dumped me. I was heartbroken.

Of course that was many years ago and I now have very fond memories of a lovely time of my life and a man who was and always will be my first love. A few years later I met my husband and have been very fortunate to have experienced the joys of both a first love and a true love.

What I learned over the last 20 odd years is that, while love may be blind initially, it comes with a raw honesty that neither fairy tales, nor romance novels prepare you for. Relationships are in constant flux, we grow and change, experience good patches and bad patches and all sorts of in-between times. But at the heart of love, I discovered a level of kindness and acceptance that has astounded me.

The other night my husband was delightedly chomping on an ice lollie. By the third one I grumbled that if he made that slurping noise one more time, I was going to have to hurt him. He looked at me. I looked at him. And that was that. You see, love has a way of understanding, and he understood. Was I having a bad day? Possibly. Hormonal? Probably.

To really truly love and be loved requires acceptance of both ourselves and others. We are flawed and fragmented beings. Our best efforts often fail dismally, our unrealistic expectations break our hearts and hurt other people, and disappointment suffocates our exuberant spirit. But only if we allow it.

If we choose, instead, to be kind, to show compassion to our own failings, we automatically become kinder and more accepting of others. Love doesn’t need perfection to thrive, it needs a willingness to show up and face the honest, awful, glorious truth.

We are a mess, life hurts and some people do really horrible things. Sometimes, we are that someone. To be loved means learning to love ourselves for all of who we are. Only then can we begin to understand what it means to truly love someone else, warts, or in my case, slurping and all!

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Comments  

# Keith Haney 2016-11-16 02:36
Another insightful and delightful post.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-11-22 05:45
Thanks Keith!
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# Tiina A 2016-10-22 21:24
Life is sharing and it's great to have someone special to share it with. No one is perfect so that means we should be able to love the whole package :D
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-23 12:46
I absolutely agree! As annoying as my husband is at times, I adore the whole package of who he is. Just having someone at my side and on my side means the world to me.
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# Patrick 2016-10-22 01:31
Uh....what is a lollie?
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-22 05:04
Lol, different names for different things can cause havoc with misunderstandin gs! I posted a pic on Facebook to answer that question.
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# Roy Miller 2016-10-21 22:19
I can relate to your article. I have been married to my childhood sweetheart for 45 years. It's funny how we can just look at each other and know what the other is thinking. I consider myself a very lucky man. I found my soul mate when I was in high school.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-22 05:03
How wonderful to hear Roy, and you are fortunate to have experienced this kind of lasting love. It is rare in this day and age.
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# Erika Ravnsborg 2016-10-21 15:06
LOL. I love that cartoon and you can never go wrong with a quote from Shakespeare
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-22 05:02
Thanks Erika, the cartoons always make me smile!
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# Lizelle 2016-10-19 12:36
Yes, I definiteky agree that acceptance is the key to any relationship. Very insightful post!!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-19 20:06
Thanks Lizelle, glad you enjoyed it!
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# Joanna 2016-10-18 12:59
Oh, no matter how I love someone, slurping and chewing gum with the mouth open will always drive me mad. I can relate to this so much! But that doesn't mean I will love them less. :)
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 15:48
Lol, my two pet hates, Joanna, athough I have been known to be annoyed by loud swallowing as well!
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# Carrie 2016-10-18 10:23
You definitely nailed it on the head when you stated: "To really truly love and be loved requires acceptance of both ourselves and others." I believe that this is sometimes overlooked by tons of people. We truly do have to love ourselves first.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 15:47
I really do think it is very overlooked, Carrie. One of the things I have experienced in my own life, is that recognition is everything. If we don't know it, we can't know if we have it or not. And if we are treating ourselves badly, well, so will other people.
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# Chrissie Emm 2016-10-18 10:04
Great read. I love the acceptance of ourselves and others paragraph. so true!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 15:44
Thanks so much, Chrissie!
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# Liz Mays 2016-10-18 00:28
I like this message. I do think accepting our own flaws helps us become more compassionate to others.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 06:44
I have found that, Liz, and if nothing else, it is certainly very humbling!
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# Jolina 2016-10-17 22:46
Nothing can be truer! I was in an 11-year relationship once and that turned out to be a real heart breaker. The truth is love is a decision you make every single day.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 06:44
Eleven years is a long time to spend with a person, and I think you are right, Jolina There are some pivotal moments in relationships and the choice you make in those moments can shape your life. I am sorry to hear yours ended up a heart breaker, that must have been a tough time for you.
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# Megan Ogden 2016-10-17 21:07
There are times I love when my husband puts everything he owns on the coffee table while taking over the living room to watch the game, other times I want to throw the coffee table away along with everything in it lol
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 06:41
Oh yeah, I know that feeling! We had to compromise and bottom line is I am not allowed to tidy his desk. Probably was a bot of a cheek on my part...
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# Freya Farrington 2016-10-17 13:49
This was so relatable for me and a nice read, slurping and all! haha
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 06:40
There is no noise quite like the slurping of an ice lollie!
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