Thursday, 02 November 2017 17:45

Well Done You!

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It is a great mistake for men to give up paying compliments,
for when they give up saying what is charming, they give up thinking what is charming.
Oscar Wilde

After a nightmarish two months at the start of the year, two lovely things happened. I received positive feedback from two experts in their respective fields. The very skilled shoulder surgeon who operated on my father, thanked me for the role I played in the shoulder healing after surgery. You have no idea! It was a mammoth undertaking keeping my father’s arm in a sling for six long weeks when, courtesy of Alzheimer’s, within days of the operation he had no recollection AT ALL of having undergone surgery.

The second acknowledgement came from a Hospice Nursing sister. She visited my father at home to assess our situation and offer assistance. Her reassurance that I was doing a good job and that my father was fortunate to be so well cared for bolstered my flagging spirits. In fact, their words had a lasting effect on me. I felt re-energized and inspired to keep going.

We are often quick to criticize ourselves and others. Fault finding is almost like a default setting in our minds and we spend an awful lot of time talking and thinking about what’s wrong, instead of what’s right.

When did you last say well done, you’ve done an excellent job, to someone? When did you last say it to yourself? Can you even remember the last time you rejoiced in how hard you tried, whether you ‘succeeded’ or not? How gracious are you in accepting compliments form others? Do you value them or dismiss it as untrue?

Like with anything, it takes effort to start noticing the good, both around and inside us. We have to make an effort, but it’s an effort well worth making. The more we notice what’s right with us and the world, the better we get at seeing the goodness, the joy, and the positive connections around us.

If you are alone and feeling unloved or unlovable at the moment, that’s okay. Maybe you’ve recently messed up big time, maybe you’ve been let down or disappointed by someone else, maybe someone has treated you appallingly and you’re reeling from the shock. Things don’t have to be perfect. You just have to start.

Start noticing one good thing that happened in your day today. In the midst of all that went wrong, pay attention to the smallest thing you did right, and nurture that fragile seed. Tiny flowers on rocky ground are just as beautiful as any flower. Notice and appreciate them. Now, go and say well done to someone who needs to hear it!

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Tania Potter - Soul Sense Coaching

I'm a Personal Development Life Coach who specialises in L.I.F.E (Living Into your Fullest Expression). Based in Richards Bay, on the East Coast of South Africa, I live with my long-suffering husband, (his description!), two much-loved dogs and care for my elderly father who has Alzheimer's.

Read more about me here.