Hang on.. or Move on?
you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.
You won't even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain.
When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in.
That's what this storm's all about.
In this high speed world of instant gratification, going the distance is an increasingly rare quality. In the past, marriages lasted a lifetime and jobs were forever. This is no longer the case. These days, ‘it’s not working for me,’ has become a perfectly acceptable reason to move on and find something better. In fact, fast-paced, busy and the good old ‘undo button’ epitomize the modern lifestyle.
However, every now and then we are given an opportunity to re-look that dynamic. Showing up, staying, holding our seat, all of these offer alternative ways of being in the world. And make no mistake, it’s a different world, one that is no longer about you and what works for you. Putting our needs and wants aside to fulfil a broader, and possibly thankless task, whether for the greater good or not, is a big ask.
When someone close to us messes up big time, they let us down or behave appallingly, it’s hard to know if it’s a time to leave or a time to stay. Without doubt, there are times when leaving is the best or a necessary option, especially if there is any form of abuse or danger.
But sometimes, these challenging experiences take us beyond our capacity as we knew it and guide us towards a deeper and clearer understanding of the limitations of our habitual way of being. A bit like ‘sole’ to ‘soul’ and ‘sense’ to ‘scents’, to go the distance, we may have to give up some ground. We may have to change, adapt, or get creative to work with what we have to make it into something it wasn’t to begin with.
It’s hard. Marriages that heal from infidelity go through this type of process. They are no longer what they were but those differences can be a good thing. It also happens when we have children or care for an elderly or ailing family member, or any experience that has us realizing we are not the centre of ‘the’ or even ‘our’ world. Instead we have fleeting glimpses of being a part of something that is much greater, much vaster, than we ever imagined.
Sometimes to heal a relationship, or the world, for that matter, we may just need to tweak things a bit. An adjustment here and there, a small change that captures a whole new reality. At the end of the day, the story doesn’t end with us, it begins with us. Right here, right now.
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I'm a Personal Development Life Coach who specialises in L.I.F.E (Living Into your Fullest Expression). Based in Richards Bay, on the East Coast of South Africa, I live with my long-suffering husband, (his description!), two much-loved dogs and care for my elderly father who has Alzheimer's.
Read more about me here.